nie altyd maanskyn en rose nie

Yeah, die dieët gaan aan, het darem al 'n paar kilo's verloor en ek doen actually elke dag oefening en dit was lank terug toe ek laas dit gedoen het. Dis nogal lekker om soggens op te staan en te gan stap - al is dit so koud. Op die oomblik is ek platsak, die amerika toe ganery vreet maar aan die bank balans. Maar ek het altyd 'n geldtjie om te kuier met die maaikies - was vandag by hook line and sinker in pringlebaai, nou dit was lekker !!!! yum - lek sommer my vingers af om daaraan te dink.

Ek is natuurlik nie net gelukkig nie - my ma en ek sit alweer vas. As ek iets sê vir Danie, en sy hou nie daarvan nie - dan hap sy my gat, of haal iets aan wat ek verkeerd gedoen het, en dit maak dit oraait dat Danie maar sy verkeerd kan maak.
Ek het ook vannaand iets gesien wat my ontstel. Toe Jennie vannaand by die huis instap, na die 2 weke vakansie, het ma haar omhels en lank vashou - ek wonder toe skielik of sy my ook so sal terug verwelkom as ek terugkom. Ek sal daarvan hou, maar ek dink nie sy sal my so baie mis soos enige van die ander kinders nie. Die rede hiervoor is dat Danie is haar "aangenome kind" en sy baby hom vreeslik en dit pla my. So as hy iets doen wat my pla, sê ek so en dan raas my ma met my. Nou, die ander kinders sê nooit iets nie en hulle is om die rede vriende met Danie en my ma raak nooit vir hulle kwaad nie. Nie oor Danie nie. (Ek dink soms ek moet net my bek hou en sy nat handoeke en vuilborde ronddra en wegpak. My oë styf toeknyp en wegkyk en met my vingers in my ore sit en niks sê. Almal dink ek is jaloers en kinderagtig, maar my ma het ons geleer om vir jouself te sorg en jou eie sokkies te soek. Nou kom die 24 jarige in die middel van 'n gesprek ingeloop en vra vir ma waar is sy sokkies - dan gan soek sy dit vir hom. Dit pla my. WHY?) So as ek weggaan, is hierdie bron van oorlog uit haar huis, wat vir haar lekker gaan wees, vir my ook. Ek dink net, ek moet uit die huis trek, maar dan kort ek permanente werk as ek terugkom van amerika, of net ander blyplek, wat te veel geld gan kos of 'n ander land.
ek weet nie.

DIET!!!! can someone please just shoot me. No! not really. My wicked ways has led my down this awful road of dieting. Well, it either this or become a diabetic and suffer a heart attack and die. I'd rather just go through the humiliation of riding my bike through traffic - big butt and all, eat food that desperately needs flavour - all fat free and non fat. And don't forget the teasing from every guy I meet about how girls always diet. And even some girls, getting frustrated at me, because I need to nit pick everything now and not be the same carefree me. That carefree me... she had a heart attack and DIED!!! I choose life!! sorry if I'm not gonna be as much fun as I used to be.... It sucks for me too.

Congratulations

I am so happy to report that my brother got engaged yesterday. He finally went on one knee and asked the coolest girl to be his wife. Finally I can really call her my sister-in-law to be. It's been a long time coming and I just hope that I'm back in South Africa before they tie the knot.

!!!LIVER ALONE!!! GET IT !!!

My liver has left the building. Literally. I was told today that because of fat build-up in my liver i can't drink alcohol anymore. Are you kidding me. This is probably one of the worst things you can say to an aspiring winemaker. Now every time i want to enjoy a glass of wine i need to takes pills they usually prescribe to alcoholics. Can you believe it, well, I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around it. But at least it's not anything deadly. Thank God for that. Small miracles, ya, you can call it the silver lining as well. For a little while there i was fearing cancer, and just losing my uncle that way - it totally freaked me out.
Well, if any one's looking for a designated driver? I'M IT !!!! A lot of spitting for me from now on. Yeah sorry, I don't swallow, I spit - this is breaking my heart. really. really.
One good way of looking at it is this, I'll never drink bad wine again. If I'm to drink wine, it better be damn good and worth my liver.
The pleasure of alcohol came with a very steep price for me. And I'm only 23. How do you like me now.
I know. i know. I'm sounding like an old lady. but forgive me for a second. I'm allowed my day of self-pitying.
DONE !! I think...